Well I am glad to say that next semester I will finally be going back to school. I have to admit I fell off my path towards a good future when all I worried about was working and trying to make money for now. I was trying to live for now, and not worry about the future. But I know that I need to grow in knowledge to get somewhere better in the future. So my goal from now on is to learn, learn and learn. Until I can get the career that I want. Then I will strive to be the best at what I do.

I am unsure what I am going to major in, so I am going to take my main classes I need in order to transfer, well my required classes. Right now I have only taken 2. I need a good amount more, but I am going to take 5 classes this coming semester. 4 which will get me closer towards where I need to go in life.

I am just going on a whim here because of what has been happening to me the past few hours. I woke up and was fine. Started watching a movie, “The Haunting of Molly Hartly”. The movie was good but a little wierd if I must say so myself. I started to then watch a Documentary on Angels & Demons. One of the people was talking about being unable to move there body and hearing things. So I googled that and what came up was Sleep Paralysis. So I thought, Yea it is probably just because of my job and the hours I work at night. Because I often have Sleep Paralysis. I will go to sleep but then feel as if my body is not able to be controlled, I can’t even speak. I feel as if I am shouting for help at the top of my lungs but I am the only person to hear it because my mouth is not moving.

When I was younger my parents used to tell me about I would have night-tremors as a child growing up, but I never thought anything of it.

“During a night terror, a child might suddenly sit upright in bed and shout out or scream in distress. The child’s breathing and heartbeat might be faster, he or she might sweat, thrash around, and act upset and scared. After a few minutes, or sometimes longer, a child simply calms down and returns to sleep.

Unlike nightmares, which kids often remember, kids won’t have any memory of a night terror the next day because they were in deep sleep when it happened — and there are no mental images to recall.”

How when I was younger I had night terrors, and now this still?

So it spooked me but to the point where I was like “Nah, Demons.. I doubt it.”

I went to the bathroom, when I left the door slammed but it startled me because my door never shuts all the way when I close it to leave the room. So then I went back to my laptop and the video on the couch and what happens a song began playing from my laptop. Believe by Breaking Bejamins. I started to get a little paranoid so I began to talk to my friend on AIM just to be like “oh ya guess what, this was odd” but the conversation just led to me weird things occuring.

I skip through a couple of songs because they were all screaming and yelling and I am no longer in the mood for it. I get to a song that starts off pretty mellow. The song starts off going “The time has come”… so I am at this point just like wtf is going on. How could this randomly be happening to me.

So I start to make a video on the accounts of what has been happening to me the last few hours. The video was going smooth, was just giving details and talking about everything. I finished it and was going to put it online, but then I go to view the video and it is showing it has only recorded 3 seconds of film.

Here are the 3 seconds:

I can’t really figure out why it only recorded the video shown. I also can’t tell what that sound in the video is right now. I am thinking it is the Click from the touch pad on my laptop but who knows.. I am uncertain right now.

Do you believe in demons? or not?

I have been going through many problems lately and I just can’t stand the fact that I feel my family, and the love we once had is slowing disappearing. My mother now has her new boyfriend/fiance , my sister I only see at church, and my dad whom I live with I hardly spend time with. I spend time with my friends but there is no love there, just relationships and such. I have yet to really understand the concept of being in love.

There is someone that even though I know.. it would never work out even if I tried. I still dream about the possibilities of it happening. I try to ignore the fact I have those dreams and such. It is almost as if I feel it was love at first sight before I even knew what love was. It was as if I felt connected to that person in some way but I just didn’t know back then.

I used to really be the shy guy when it came to women and going out on dates and etc. Let’s put it this way.. I’m not like that much any more but because people started so young dating and learning and etc about it all, now people are professionals compared to what my level is.

I don’t really know who I am anymore.. I grew up raised to be a good kid, with manners and just responsible and such. I did good while I was young but then as I grew older I began to dwindle down the ladder and falling away from who I used to be. I started ignoring what I should have been doing in high school which was paying attention and actually doing the work. Instead I spent 4-8 hours a day on my computer trying to learn more about the internet and domain names, websites and etc. I feel because of this venture into the internet and trying to make money instead of doing good school, I did poor in school. But I have to admit that if I didn’t follow this venture into the internet business, that I would never be able to go to school because I probably would not be able to afford it. My mother always said she would help me with school, but where was she when I needed her? Where is she now? Not in my life.

I honestly have to say that even though I had a family growing up, and friends, and even a girl friend. I still felt as if I was working alone in the world. To be the best I had to do it all on my own and I couldn’t depend on anyone for anything, and still till this day I somewhat feel like that. I try to take down my guard and trust people whom I know I can talk to or that can help me. I just feel overwhelmed with life and the responsabilities that come with it. Life.Death.Love.Laughter.

I recently deleted my Myspace and Facebook. I felt obligated to re-create them with who I really am, and just start fresh and whole. I will only add friends that I currently talk to, and as for the random people I had, sorry. I plan on updating them both today and adding the real Louie to them.