I do not know. Am I just another person in the world with nothing going for him? Or am I one of the lucky ones who will be rich and famous? Will I die before the age of 21? Will I have to live my life in turmoil because of a terminal illness?
I do not know. Life has it trials and we can overcome them. Yes we can do it alone, because who can you depend on besides God to always be there. Though at times you can not always count on him for help.
The words I hardly hear from either of my parents is: I am proud of you
Want to know why? Because they are not. I do my best to get ahead, I try and make the right decisions. It doesn’t matter what I do, because it isn’t what they did it isn’t good enough.
Well trust me. I am going to be better and I won’t care if they are proud of me or not.
Well I am glad to say that next semester I will finally be going back to school. I have to admit I fell off my path towards a good future when all I worried about was working and trying to make money for now. I was trying to live for now, and not worry about the future. But I know that I need to grow in knowledge to get somewhere better in the future. So my goal from now on is to learn, learn and learn. Until I can get the career that I want. Then I will strive to be the best at what I do.
I am unsure what I am going to major in, so I am going to take my main classes I need in order to transfer, well my required classes. Right now I have only taken 2. I need a good amount more, but I am going to take 5 classes this coming semester. 4 which will get me closer towards where I need to go in life.
I am just going on a whim here because of what has been happening to me the past few hours. I woke up and was fine. Started watching a movie, “The Haunting of Molly Hartly”. The movie was good but a little wierd if I must say so myself. I started to then watch a Documentary on Angels & Demons. One of the people was talking about being unable to move there body and hearing things. So I googled that and what came up was Sleep Paralysis. So I thought, Yea it is probably just because of my job and the hours I work at night. Because I often have Sleep Paralysis. I will go to sleep but then feel as if my body is not able to be controlled, I can’t even speak. I feel as if I am shouting for help at the top of my lungs but I am the only person to hear it because my mouth is not moving.
When I was younger my parents used to tell me about I would have night-tremors as a child growing up, but I never thought anything of it.
“During a night terror, a child might suddenly sit upright in bed and shout out or scream in distress. The child’s breathing and heartbeat might be faster, he or she might sweat, thrash around, and act upset and scared. After a few minutes, or sometimes longer, a child simply calms down and returns to sleep.
Unlike nightmares, which kids often remember, kids won’t have any memory of a night terror the next day because they were in deep sleep when it happened — and there are no mental images to recall.”
How when I was younger I had night terrors, and now this still?
So it spooked me but to the point where I was like “Nah, Demons.. I doubt it.”
I went to the bathroom, when I left the door slammed but it startled me because my door never shuts all the way when I close it to leave the room. So then I went back to my laptop and the video on the couch and what happens a song began playing from my laptop. Believe by Breaking Bejamins. I started to get a little paranoid so I began to talk to my friend on AIM just to be like “oh ya guess what, this was odd” but the conversation just led to me weird things occuring.
I skip through a couple of songs because they were all screaming and yelling and I am no longer in the mood for it. I get to a song that starts off pretty mellow. The song starts off going “The time has come”… so I am at this point just like wtf is going on. How could this randomly be happening to me.
So I start to make a video on the accounts of what has been happening to me the last few hours. The video was going smooth, was just giving details and talking about everything. I finished it and was going to put it online, but then I go to view the video and it is showing it has only recorded 3 seconds of film.
Here are the 3 seconds:
I can’t really figure out why it only recorded the video shown. I also can’t tell what that sound in the video is right now. I am thinking it is the Click from the touch pad on my laptop but who knows.. I am uncertain right now.